By With the allegations against Harvey Weinstein and many other high-profile men – along with the #MeToo campaign – the issue of sexual harassment in the workplace is more visible than ever. A recent poll from the Washington Post and ABC News found that 54 percent of women reported experiencing unwanted sexual advances, and 30 percent reported unwanted sexual advances at work. Of the women who experienced unwanted sexual advances while working, 95 percent said their harassers didn’t face consequences. These findings aren’t exclusive to office jobs, but permeate into all industries from food service to the military to the gig economy.
For female ride-share drivers, unwanted advances don’t necessarily come from coworkers or superiors, but passengers. While many reports have rightly focused on the harassment of ride-share passengers by their drivers, women drivers find themselves in a vulnerable position while working, especially at night. Although companies like Uber and Lyft have no-tolerance harassment policies for passengers, female drivers still face unwanted sexual advances – both physical and verbal – while driving. Cosmopolitan.com spoke with 11 women drivers about their experiences being harassed on the job. From being inappropriately touched to propositioned for sex, female drivers have an added concern on top of getting a five-star rating: their own safety.
Vanessa, 38
Driving for Uber
"I’ve been asked by a man if I would turn the app off and take him somewhere and he would give me cash, which I assumed was propositioning me for sex. He was in the front seat, clearly intoxicated, and he had three friends asleep in the back. I asked him where he wanted me to take him, and why I should turn off the app, and he just kept saying he would be give me cash if I took him somewhere. I said I was tired and was going home after driving, and he asked what direction I lived in. When I asked why that mattered, he said something along the lines of, 'Maybe I’m going that direction too.' I didn’t want to push the issue with him, just because of his level of intoxication, but one of his friends woke up and said something to him in Spanish and then he stopped badgering me about it. After the ride ended, I gave him a one-star and I believe I directly messaged Uber that I had an unruly passenger and I felt uncomfortable. They sent me the general apology email, but I’m not sure if anything happened to the passenger. I’m not going to say I felt scared, but it was a moment of disbelief, like, am I really getting propositioned right now? It’s not something I’m used to.
"I also once had an intoxicated man in the front seat who put his hand on my thigh while he was talking to me. I told him that he needed to move his hand, so he apologized and moved it, but when he did, he was like, 'Wow, you’re really beautiful.' And while he continued talking, he put his hand on my thigh again. And he wasn’t just touching my leg – his hand was on the inside of my thigh. I joked around and asked if he wanted to walk home if he didn’t stop touching me, and he kind of laughed and said, 'My bad, my bad,' while removing his hand. As he was leaving my car at the end of the trip, he asked if he could give me a kiss before he left. He also asked what I was doing later and if I wanted to get drinks with him. I said no, thank you, and gave him a one-star and reported him when he left."
Christina, 37
Driving for Uber
"There’s a strip club in town, so those guys can be a little rowdy picking up or dropping off. Whenever I’m in that neighborhood, I always hope I don’t get one of those guys. I got one, a guy who was obviously very drunk. He gave me the address to his hotel, and throughout the ride, he keeps asking, 'Where is the after-party?' We also talked a bit, so he knew I had a husband and family. We get to the hotel and there’s a group of girls out front and he asks them where the after-party is. I look at the girls and shake my head like, No, don’t do it, and the girl says, 'She doesn’t think it’s a good idea.' And he looks at me, and I say, 'I didn’t say anything.' Then the girls leave, so the guy asks me, 'Did you just cock-block me?' And I said, 'I didn’t say anything.' Then he said that because I cock-blocked him, I should come upstairs to his hotel. He was lingering in my car, which made me super uncomfortable. He kept saying that no one had to know but us – that probably angered me the most. I just told him he was at his hotel and to have a nice night because I had to pick up my other ride."
Stephanie, 33
Driving for Lyft
"I picked a guy up from the Amtrak station, which was about a 30-minute drive. He was talking to his wife on the phone, telling her he loved her and he couldn’t wait to see her. They talked for about 15 minutes, and as soon as he got off the phone, he asked if he could have my number. He’s asking me if I’m single, what kind of guys I like, if I had kids, if he could take me out. I told him no, and I wanted to end the ride early but I needed the money. When we got to his house, he didn’t leave the car right away because he kept asking for my number. I told him he could get out or I would call the cops. I gave him a one star, but he was using his wife’s Uber account. After that incident, I started telling men that I’m married, even though I’m not, and now I don’t drive past midnight. It’s hard because this is my main source of income, and I miss out on a lot of money by not driving when bars are closing. But that one guy ruined it for me."
Carlyn, 36
Driving for Lyft
"I’ve limited driving at night because I had a gentleman touch me while I was driving. He was drinking and kept asking for my number. He leaned forward from the back seat and kept trying to touch my shoulder. I told him to stop. Five minutes later, he reached through the center console and tried to grab my thigh. I pulled the car over and told him I was ending the ride and he needed to get out of the car or the police would be involved. It’s unfair that men do this when they’re drinking, because you can make the most money driving at night with the bar scene and events. I used to tell my friends who are single moms driving, especially at night, could be a good way to make some extra money, but now I’m rethinking that."
Driving for Uber
"I had a gentleman that wouldn’t get out of my car at the end of the ride until I gave him my number. This was in the early evening, probably around 7 p.m., so I’m unsure if he had been drinking. We chatted it up during the 10-minute drive, but when we got to his destination, he kept asking for my number. I told him I was married and I wasn’t interested, but he wouldn’t leave until he saw me take my phone of the dash to put in his number. I told him I was going to give him a one-star and call the authorities if he didn’t get out, so after 15 minutes, he finally did. He didn’t touch me or anything, it was just awkward."
Anna, 23
Driving for Uber
"I picked up a man in his 40s from a bar around 2:30 a.m., so he was super drunk. I tell guys that I’m married, even though I’m not, so they leave me alone. This guy asked what nationality my husband was, and then continued to make comments about it for the rest of the ride. It was really uncomfortable, but he didn’t seem to get the hint that I felt uncomfortable. We got to his apartment complex, and before he got out of the car, he was like, 'Can I tell you a secret?' and motioned for me to bring my ear closer to him. I wouldn’t do it, but I wanted him to get out of my car so I finally moved closer to him and he started trying to kiss my neck. Then I told him to please get out of my car. There was a security guard nearby, so I didn’t get the vibe he really would have done anything, but he definitely crossed the line. I reported him to Uber and gave him a one-star. I got their typical 'Sorry' email, but they probably didn’t kick him off the platform."
Maggie, 31
Driving for Uber
"The first night that I went out driving for Uber, I had my boyfriend with me because I was nervous. We picked an individual up from a bar and he hit on both of us, asking us to stop driving for the night and go to his house to fool around. I was extremely uncomfortable but glad my boyfriend was with me. When we got to this guy’s destination, he said, 'Well, I'm glad your boyfriend was with you to keep me from raping you.' I started driving with pepper spray and my gun after that, but I couldn't figure out how to report him."
Victoria, 24
Driving for Uber
"I picked up a young couple and they asked if I could pick up their friend on the way to their destination. We waited outside for about 10 minutes, and when he gets in the car, he’s like, 'Sorry, I wanted to do a bump of cocaine.' He sits in the front seat and immediately starts hitting on me. I try to be polite, but then I noticed he started shifting his body toward me. He asked if I wanted to come out with them tonight, and he started stroking my arm. I jerked my arm away from him, but he just persisted with the comments, telling me how beautiful I was. Then a weird smell comes from outside, and he leans over and smells my shoulder and starts stroking my hair, and tells everyone in the car that the smell wasn’t me, I smelled really good. His friends in the back seat didn’t do anything, and they were talking about violence and guns, so I was getting pretty nervous. We get to their destination, and the guy was like, 'We’re not going anywhere until you come out and party with us.' When he got out and tried to come to my side of the car, I drove away as fast as I could."
ShaQueta, 35
Driving for Lyft
"I picked up a husband and wife who had been attending a conference. The wife was pretty drunk, and the husband was sober. She asked me if I wanted to go home with her and her husband, and that they had never had a black girl come home with them. I said, 'No, I can’t do that,' and her husband was like, 'We don’t want to scare her off, we’ll see what she says when we get home.' The wife was really persistent, asking if I had ever been with a white girl, and I said I had never been with a girl at all. Then her husband said something like, 'There’s a first time for everything.' I kept brushing it off and redirecting the conversation because I didn’t want them to get angry, but the wife kept persisting. She unbuckled herself and kept trying to rub my hair and my neck. I just kept it cool and kept trying to brush it off, and said I didn’t want to come with them when we got to their house. If the husband was more aggressive, I would have reported them, but it was just the wife, and I know she was really wasted.
"Another time, I picked up a woman and a man who weren’t dating but had something going on. He sat up front and she sat in the back. She started yelling at him about why he wasn’t sitting with her, asking if he thought I was hotter than her. He said like, 'Actually, I do,' and then whispered to me that he was dropping her off, and asked if I wanted to come to the strip club with him. This was a Sunday night. Then he said he had never been with a black girl, and he would give me his number and the girl in the back seat doesn’t have to know. The girl in the back was getting upset, and she was like, 'You’re gonna hit on that bitch in front of me?' I was like, what we’re not going to do is name call, I don’t want anything to do with this. He dropped her off at the hotel and apologized if he came off the wrong way – he just thought I was attractive. He left his phone number, his card, and a condom when I dropped him off at another bar.
"There was another time when I picked up these two girls that I had actually picked up once before. They were really nice, and kept asking me to go out with them. Then they asked me if they could request me to come back later in the night to pick them up. When I picked them up, they told me I should come home with them. I asked if they were a couple, and they said they weren’t, they just play around every now and then. I told them I wasn’t interested, and they asked why I was being so stuck up, and they said they were into black girls. Then one of the girls took off her underwear and was twirling it in the air, and the other girl was like, 'Do you smell that? That’s what good pussy smells like. I can only imagine what yours tastes like.' When we got to their house, they asked one more time if I wanted to come in and I said no, and they told me they would request me again and hopefully they would see me. I gave them a one-star and reported them to Lyft. I received an email back from Lyft apologizing for what happened and that my safety is important to them and the passenger was deactivated."
Alison, 38
Driving for Uber
"I picked a guy up late from a bar, and he asked if he could sit in the front seat. I said OK, if that’s what makes him comfortable. As we’re driving, he’s complimenting me, calling me gorgeous and beautiful. I tried to reroute the conversation by asking him where he’s from, but he turns it back to calling me beautiful, and then he puts his hand on my leg. I’m like, back off, this does not happen in my car. Then he slumped back into his seat, so I thought maybe he would just sit there and behave. I try to strike up a conversation again by asking him if he likes the city, but then he starts asking me questions about if I know any single women. I try to keep it light, but I’m getting creeped out. We’re almost at the street that he lives on, and he gets comfortable again and tells me I’m gorgeous. I tell him I’m happily married and I’m not interested. We get to his road and he puts his hand on my leg again and asks if I want to pull the car over. So I slam on the brakes and turn on the lights and tell him to get out of my car. At first he doesn’t leave, so I repeat myself and he gets out. I lock my door and I’m shaking as I give him a one-star and write a report to Uber. Then I see that he’s walking back to my car, so I peeled out of there. For a little bit after that, I didn’t want to drive anymore. Uber wound up calling me and I told them the whole story. They told me he was banned temporarily while they got more info, and that I would never receive a ping from him again. My only issue is that, I don’t want any of my girl friends who also drive for Uber locally to get him as a rider."
Jessica, 35
Driving for Uber
"My passenger came to my car, and before the ride even started, he called me cute and propositioned sex. I said no, trying to laugh it off so he could get himself together. But then he started calling me a bitch because I wouldn’t do anything with him. He was really drunk, like falling-down drunk, so I wasn’t as worried about something happening, but he was so belligerent that I told him I wasn’t going to take him. He kept getting in and out of the car, so as soon as he got out and shut the door, I drove away. I gave him a one-star and reported him. Uber called me later and said his account was cancelled."
Meagan, 27
Driving for Uber
"I picked a gentleman up at an apartment complex. He seemed completely fine, and we chatted like normal. I mentioned something about my husband, and he says, 'Oh, you’re married?' And then keeps asking questions about my husband. Then he told me he was glad I said I was married, or he would have hit on me. I asked if he was married, and he said that he was but that he cheats on his wife all the time. He said she doesn’t seem to care because he has a lot of money and pays all the bills. He kept saying he made a lot of money and insinuating that because his wife doesn’t care, my husband wouldn’t care. We get to his house and he asks me to turn off the headlights. I said I would just drop him off, and he said he wanted me to stay for a minute. I was worried he wasn’t going to get out of the car, but I said I had to go, so he told me to have a good night and left.
"Another time, I pick up this guy up from a strip club after having to call him to find out his location, and when he gets in, he’s like, 'I’m sorry, you probably hate me, I’m the worst Uber passenger ever.' I told him he’s good as long as he doesn’t hit on me. He asked why he couldn’t hit on me and I explained that I was married, and it makes me feel awkward. At one point he squeezed my leg and made a comment about how nice my legs were. He told me I was prettier than all the strippers in the club, and that he made a lot of money. I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want any confrontation. The rating system is a two-way street, and people make stuff up or report you if they don’t like how the ride went. It made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t kick him out because I’m also trying to make money, and you don’t get your money if you kick people out and end the ride."
When reached for comment on these stories, an Uber spokeswoman responded, "We want our riders and drivers to have a positive experience and feel safe and secure on a trip, so what’s been described is deeply concerning to us. Sexual harassment is a societal problem that affects all of us — individuals, businesses and industries — including transportation and the Uber community. We recognize we have a responsibility to listen, to learn and to find ways we can play an important role in prevention — in the workplace and on the road."
Lyft replied with the following statement: "The safety of the Lyft community is our top priority and we take any allegation of this nature incredibly seriously. Lyft does not tolerate harassment on our platform, and such behavior can and does lead to a permanent ban from our service. We have a 24/7 critical response line available to drivers to report any safety incident. Our Trust and Safety team investigate these incidents and takes appropriate action, which can include working with law enforcement when appropriate."
Have you or someone close to you experienced sexual harassment or abuse? We would like to hear from you. Email tips@cosmopolitan.com with your story, and Cosmopolitan reporters may respond to you for more information.
